Nocturnesque Chapter 9

by Jeff Lewis (aka The Werewolf!) © 1985

Everything was so noisy and there were these large moving things that shined and blinded me as they passed. I dived through when there was a gap and nearly was hit. My tail struck one of these fast moving things and a pain rushed up my spine. I cried out but kept on running.

Ahead was a nice dark area without those big things everywhere. I ran for it and passed some older humans. They started shouting and I turned and kept on running.

I kept moving throught the dark areas for a long time until I went past an old place that seemed familiar. Something should be in there that I wanted very badly. I wasn't sure what that thing was, but I really wanted it.

I knew I couldn't get in there and howled a long moan of frustration. I set off again towards the water. I entered a large area of spread out trees. Not a forest but like one. There were plently of people smells around here.

A large dog came barrelling over and started challenging me for this territory. I lept at him and pulled him to the ground. I bit his thigh and chased him away. Sniffing one of his old marks I lifted my leg and sprayed a marker over his.

I trotted away and headed deeper into the woods. The trees grew closer togther and led to a path. I followed it. There were fewer people smells here and the air was so much cleaner.

I moved out onto the sand and lay down. After a while, I walked over to a rock at the edge of a cliff and squatting, I relieved my bladder. I returned to the large rock I was laying next to and sat down. Feeling an itch, I crouched over and began licking the mound between my legs. I wash all the urine off and clean my fur.

I'm exhausted and nod off to sleep.

I string the medallion around my neck and shift. I focus myself to the ground and begin tracking him. The scent is not very old but all the background city smells are making it hard to track.

I concentrate on the medallion and feel him lying in the sand. Sand? He has to have gone to the beach. Crossing the main street, I head into the residential area and head for my little beach.

I didn't think it very likely, but he may have had enough sense of mind to go there.

I move quickly through the dark streets until I reach the park by the cliff. My friend, the Alsation, runs out and sniffs me.

He's happy to see me but he's hurt. Some other dog has bitten him. He tells me that the dog was male and that he'd never seen this dog around here. He wanted to play but I couldn't right now.

I licked his muzzle and headed out to the beach.

There he was.

I shift and walk to him.

A strange smell woke me from a strange hunt dream. I looked up and saw a human approach. I leap up and begin to run away.

A warm smell drifted from her to me and I heard something tell me to stop. I did and she walked over to me. I didn't feel afraid.

She grabbed the fur around my face and I whined as she pulled my face up to hers. I grew nervous and tried not to look in her face. I put a paw on her arm and tried to push her away but I couldn't gather up enough strength.

She stared into my eyes. I knew those eyes. I knew her. Oh my God! I was a wolf!

I tried to pull away from her but she had a tight grip on my fur. My God, I was a wolf, I had fur. I started thrashing about. I had licked myself down there. I did it the way dogs did it. I snapped at her and used my hind legs (no.. my legs) to push myself away. I pressed down on my tail (my tail, oh no no) and finally escaped.

I tumbled over my now clumsy legs and fell. She was on me in an instant. I yelped and barked (it's not my fault) and she had me. A glowing hand moved out of her hand and slid into my head. I howled in terror and passed out.

He passed out, thank God. I hated seeing him that way, his eyes were bulging out in terror. I gathered his shaggy body up and hugged him to me.

Jen had done a great job in selecting the form. He was the handsomest male I'd ever seen. He was big and very husky, dark grey and black with just a touch of brown and a bright white belly. Very male. I ran my hands over his belly and looked. Yes, very male.

I kissed his forehead and waited for a moment to gather my strength. I knew when he awoke, all hell would break loose. I focused on him and felt inside his mind for the trigger. I shifted him back to his normal form and allowed him to awaken.

I was floating in a cottony substance and suddenly was lying on cold wet sand. I looked up and saw her. It all came rushing back in on me. I pulled away from her and stood back.

You monsters, I shouted, what did you do to me? You've turned me into a freak! My anger boiled and I could feel my face burn.

You're not a freak, she said calmly.

Not a freak! I'm a god-damned werewolf! That's not exactly the boy-next-door!

So, I'm a werewolf too. Born and bred. And where I come from, the boy next door is one too. I know, I dated him.

Oh God! This is fucking insane! There can't be any such things as werewolves. That's just legends and mythology. People made them up to scare kids. Ohhh.. Next you'll say there are vampires and ogres and trolls I don't want to be a devil worshipper and run around eating children and getting shot at.

Devil worship? I'm presbyterian! And I've never eaten a child in my life! You watch too many bad horror movies.

She walked over to me and touched my arm. I jumped back. Her touch felt like fire against my cold skin. Stay back, don't touch me, I warned her.

It's not over, she said to me.

There's more? I cried out. Isn't this enough? You've ruined my life and turned me into a monster and you tell me there's more!

I didn't turn you into a monster, you idiot! You've always had the ability in you, you just didn't know. And don't forget you agreed to do it.

Agreed to do what! You never said "Hey, say yes and you can become a werewolf!" did you? No! Just some malarky about a gift I had. Some gift.

She walked up and slapped me hard in the face. Shut up, she yelled. How dare you critisize my people when you know nothing about them. Listen, you and I are paired for life, we share a common soul. You'd better get used to the idea fast because if you don't soon, you're going to be very seriously screwed up. Right now you are both wolf and man separate and if we don't get your two halves together, you'll go nuts.

Like I'm not now, I said rubbing the stinging cheek.

She told me that we were going back to the apartment to discuss this sanely and to get ready. Ready for what I asked her and began to protest when she told me she was going to help me back into my wolf form. I told her I wanted nothing to do with that. When she pointed out that neither of us had clothing on I couldn't think of anything to say.

She started to approach me but I jumped and then stepped back from her. I wasn't going to let her touch me again. Suddenly a wave of nausea caught me and I tripped.

The cool, wet sand smashed against me and I felt strung out. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again I was struck by a hideous din of crashing noise and insanely bright lights. A booming voice shouted Damn!

I lept up and started running.

He changed again. I've got to get him back soon. The changes are going to kill him if they aren't controlled.

I remember one person who was brought to our clan too late. I remember watching in horror as his body changed faster and faster and then part would be human and others would be wolf at the same time. Finally he spread thinner and thinner until he was gone!

It was the most awful thing I'd ever seen.

I changed and started after him. He was already out of sight, but I had his scent, and the medallion.

The world was night and day. Everything shone with a brilliant internal light that blinded me. The colours were so intense and completely wrong. Trees were yellow with long red streaks along their trunks. The sand was a deep blue with beautiful glassy sparkles.

And the sounds that filled my head and were so deep. Loud chirping and sharp grating sounds drilled painfully into my ears. I could hear the low rumbling of two people talking but could not see them any where. The crunching of sand under my feet was as if earthquakes and landslides were all around me.

I whimpered and the screeching sound shocked me. I pulled my ears back and tried to keep my eyes closed as much as I could.

The oily odour of the water mixed with the heavy pungency of the salt made me want to gag. I could smell the stench of peoples feet lingering on the sand. I could smell the heavy muskiness of my fur and the male smells from between my thighs.

I wanted to lay down in the sand and die. Or at least sleep, but I couldn't take the risk. The clamour and stench made it too hard to stop moving. I wanted to scream and couldn't even do that.

After what seemed like eternity of running, dashing through the firey woods and the luminescent waters, I gave up. I loped to the water and tried to drink some, I was so thirsty. The water was scalding and freezing. It hurt.

I moved to a bushy area and collapsed. I was so frightened and confused. I had to do something to shout my anger. I lifted my head and trying to scream, gave forth to the longest, most mournful sounding howl the world has ever heard.

Doing that made me feel better, so I did it again. If I was going to be miserable, then let the world know about it. I didn't care anymore.

When I was all howled out, I rested my head in my forepaws and closed my eyes. There was another wave of nausea and this time I did throw up. Not a pleasant thing for a wolf to do. I moved away from the putrid mass and dropped to the ground.

I must have passed out for a bit because when I opened my eyes things seemed to have improved. The world looked more or less correct, except that everything was in black and white with muted, faint washes of colour, and still sounding like the tone is set too far to the bass, but at least I wasn't being blinded or deafened.

Well, this was better. If you can call being trapped in the form of a male wolf as better. I thought of the woman (or whatever) I'd left and felt mixed hatred and love. Even now, lying here in the brush on my side, panting and scratching my ear with my hind leg (good grief, that's some reflex! I didn't want to do that) I still wouldn't completely believe in this. I hoped that somehow it would turn out to be some weird drug trip that old man set me on.

I had to agree with her on one score, I did need her. There was a growing longing to be with her, and yet at the same time, I couldn't go to her. I was too afraid of what might happen.

I lay there for some time. Lucky for me this little grotto was in a cliff face and couldn't be reached from the ground. I slept for some time, drifting in and out of sleep. I found that I couldn't stay asleep for too long, and I would grow sleepy if I tried to stay awake.

As the day wore on, I found that I was staying awake longer and by nightfall, I was wide awake. I looked at myself, determined to see just what I was going to have to put up with.

My hands had become ridiculously large paws with black claws that joined into long slender arms. My nose didn't seem all that longer, just wider and there were these patches of shading I could see that were different in each eye. That bothered my until I put it out of my mind.

I continued the inventory: the bent hind legs, the bushy tail, the heavy fur of my chest thinning down to the lighter fur of my belly and further down the very different equipment that I had explored a little too closely so recently.

My reflexes were different now as well. I had an itch in my arm and wanted to scratch it. Before I could raise my paw and scratch, I found myself nibbling at the area instead. I confess that there were certain cleaning activities that I didn't want to think about.

I stood up and walked around a bit. I have to say this, a wolfs body sure feels nice to move around in. You move so easily, no tension. As I moved, I was aware of a gentle bobbing sensation between my thighs that pulled on my belly and a similar, yet stronger sensation at the base of my spine as my tail echoed my pace.

I tried moving my tail and at first couldn't make it do what I wanted. It just wanted to hang there straight down. Eventually I found that I could make it wag a little my trying to clench the muscles in my rump but it wasn't really wagging.

Suddenly, a there was, well, sort of a rippling in my mind. I had memories of meeting more wolves and being happy and wagging my tail. It was. I could feel the swaying shift of weight as it swung from side to side. I turned my head around, now easy to do almost all the way around, and could see the bushy flag swinging.

I tried stopping it. It did. Then starting back up. It did this too. Then I realized something. I was proud of the fact I could make my tail wag! Good Grief! This was sick! I'm not a wolf and don't need to know about this kind of thing.

Something was making me want to be a wolf and I was not at all happy about that.

As he ran off, I could see that this was not going to be easy. I also could see that I couldn't force him to be what I wanted. He was very mixed up and I was concerned for his sanity.

I could shift and trace him easily, but decided not to, since I could find him anytime. I needed help.

I shifted to my wolf form and headed out to my place. I reached the back of the house and focused into my suite. Jen and Steve were in the midst of amourous activity as I phased in but quickly sat up and asked what had happened.

I sat on the edge of my bed and told them what happened.

That's not supposed to be possible, Steve told me. It always takes a couple of days before someone can change.

Well, that's what I'd been led to believe. Maybe he changed faster because he's decended of the Lycaon, I offered.

It's possible, Steve said. In that case, we can't expect any of this to work out the way it's supposed to. Where is he now?

I explained that I left him along the shore and that I felt it would be better to come to grips with this on his own without any interference by us.

Jen agreed with me, while Steve felt this was an awfully dangerous thing to do, but considering the strong feelings and terror, we may have to do it this way.

We changed as a group and shifted to the back yard. We ran around to the front only to scare the dickens out of Emily who was just coming home. We hurried along to the shore and stayed in the heavy brush and trees along the cliff top.

We found him fairly quickly and stayed there watching him. I saw him throw up and then lay down heavily. He scratched his ear and gave a perfect impression of having been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

He slept through the day and we sat about trading stories about what happened to each of us since I left the town. Steve and Jen began to nuzzle and lick at each other then made love. I watched for a while and licked at myself for a bit, but didn't really want to continue. I wanted him.

They lay panting, locked together. I told them I was going to get some food and started searching out squirrels and mice. I caught a few and had some grass and berries and brought them back a few mice. They ate the mice and lay, waiting until they could separate.

As night began to fall, he started moving. He seemed to become fixated with his tail. As I watched, a faint shimmer came over him as he went very slightly out of focus and came back in. I turned to Steve and questioned him.

Steve began. His wolf form is trying to help him. Don't forget that he has a complete set of wolf memories in there. He just can't get at them when he needs them. That is, he shouldn't be able to get at them. There's something very strange happening here.

Even if he could change, odd enough, he shouldn't be able to phase like that. Most of us have to learn that trick. He turned to Jen. Jen, tell me about the form you picked.

Well, said Jen, it was a very powerful male. I sure he was a powerful pack leader who had kept his position for his entire life and then died of natural causes. He was never thrown out. It seemed to suit the guy. You know, independant and strong, yet a good leader.

Steve looked at her for a moment then his furry body kind of sagged. He put his muzzle on his fore paws and gave a great ragged sigh. What's wrong, I asked him.

Well, I'm afraid we've made a little mistake, he told me. A strong form is safe for a new entry because the human is complete and can defend itself. Your mate is already part Lycaon and so wouldn't have the defenses a pure human would. I'm afraid the wolf form may come to dominate him. If that happens, I'm not sure we can get him back.

I looked at him in shock. Good God! What can we do?

Another great shuddering sigh came over Steve and Jen moved closer to him and licked his ear. Uhm, well, just right now, there's not a whole lot I can do. I'm not skilled enough for this. Jen?

Sorry, me neither, she said to me.

Well, we've got to get him back so the Elder can take of him, I said to them. We're going to have some problems though. He doesn't trust us and I know he doesn't trust the Elder in no uncertain terms.

Steve lifted his head. He said, I suspect that the best thing for now is to let him get his grips on all this. We can defend him for the next while, all I can hope is that he gets his act together before his other half gets it together for him.

I looked down and saw only empty beach. He had gone. We phased down the cliff and scented his trail following at a discrete distance.

I knew I had to figure something out. I was, for the time, stuck as a wolf. I didn't know how to get free or get back to normal and someone was trying to make me want to stay in this form.

The damnable thing was that the longer I stayed in this form, the more interested I became in how it all worked. I suppose I was lucky that at least I was still male. I don't think I could handle having to figure out how to be a wolf and a female at the same time.

At first I had trouble with walking, trying to coordinate four feet without tripping, but I just pretended I was crawling. The first time I tried it I found that I was resting on the ground and creeping without lifting from the ground, but with a little experimentation, I soon got the hang of it.

I moved up along the coast. I remembered that there were several farms and a large park area along the shore away from the city. If I could make it there, I could be safe enough until I got more of this worked out.

Soon enough, I lapsed into a kind of daydreaming and would have been humming to myself, if I could do that anymore. The constant trotting felt pretty good and I was making time. Once or twice I had the feeling that I was being followed and tried to trap whoever it was, but never saw anyone.

I hate to admit it, but as the night grew deeper, I was starting to enjoy this. I felt really good; no pains. I felt a little hungry but not even very much of that.

At one point, I couldn't get past the cliff and had to swim. I had to, well, dog paddle and didn't really like it too much. When I cleared the cliff, I swam as fast as I could to the shore. The wetness clung to my fur and I hated it. I felt like I weighed a ton. Before I could think about what to do, I found myself twisting my head and body in opposite directions, sending the water into a fountain spray all around me.

I continued trotting and as the water finally dried off. I felt cool.

The ground sloped up and soon opened into a much wider beach. I continued overland from here and made my way through several pastures to a forested area separated by a high wire fence. I lept the fence with little effort and headed in.

The night grew darker as I moved into the shelter of the forest. I could hear all sorts of movement skittering in the underbrush. My nose, so low, drank in the rich liquor of the matted ground. The spongy carpet broke away as my claws penetrated, releasing sharp bursts of scent. I was enraptured.

I moved almost silently through the woods. I began to grow hungry and considered this problem. I couldn't catch and eat an animal raw. At the same time, I couldn't exactly catch it, kill it and then cook it.

I decided to pass on eating for now.

Now that I had reached my haven, I had to stop and consider my situation. Stuck like this, my life as I knew it had come to an end, and while this was not really all that bad, it certainly wasn't my idea.

Basically, I had few paths. I could stay this way for the rest of my life, not really what I want. I could try and figure out how to get back to the good old me, but how is a good question. Or, I could go back to her and see what options that would bring.

Well, the first was out, the third had too many unknowns for me at this point in time, that left the second. The only problem here was that I didn't really know how I got this way to start with. I mean I know that bite the Elder gave me probably did it, I've seen enough horror movies to figure that out, but what controlled the change. Hollywood screwed up in one sense, there wasn't a full moon and here I was in wolf city.

I began to wonder just how much of the legend I'd seen in those grade B flicks was true. I mean, I thought all that stuff was made up. Still, as much as I hate to think this, werewolves are obviously real. I was one. So, somebody has to know about them. But who? I couldn't go back to her home town, they're all like her.

Just then, I smelled a musky male scent similar to mine. A light went on in my head and I knew it was another wolf. Sure enough, a large, shaggy beast crept through the trees and loped towards me.

Before I could think, I started growling and found my lips pulled back in a snarl. The other wolf stopped and kept his distance.

Suddenly, a voice surrounded my head. It said, hello, you're new to these woods aren't you. I was stunned, but this stupid body just kept on snarling and growling. I started to feel a little angry. I tried to get a grip on myself and forced myself to stop. I did.

Now the problem was, how to reply? Just talk to me, the other wolfs voice told me. Huh? How could he hear me? I then realized I wasn't hearing the voice exactly, it was sort of all around my head and in it.

That's right, we can read each others mind.

Good God! I don't think I can take much more of this.

I'm sorry. My name's Steven. I've been watching you.

You're one of them aren't you!

You mean a werewolf? Yes. I've been one all my life. I'm sorry you're not enjoying it. It really can be fun if you let it.

Fun! You call running about on all fours and howling at the moon, fun? My life's been wrecked. All I wanted was a lady to settle down with and some kids, now what do I get, puppies?

First, we don't howl at the moon, unless we want to, and second, you can still have your family.

What? Oh no! That's sick! I'm not bedding down, or what ever, with a female wolf. That is sick, under lined, sick.

Why so? You're a wolf now too. Besides, that's not what I meant. You could become a human again.

How? My heart lept in my throat. I'd do anything for that.

You can not be rid of the wolf. It is a part of you now and you must dominate it. If not, it will take you over.

Well that's just great. What do I have to do? Go to Stevies School for Werewolves and in just ten easy lessons learn all about being large and furry? Right.

I can see you're not ready for my help yet. I can't do it without your cooperation. When you're ready to stop being sorry for yourself, just let me know, I'll be around.

Sorry for myself! How dare you...

And then he was gone. Just like that.

Good evening ladies.

Oh, Steve. How did it go?

Not well I'm afraid. You're boyfriend is sure pig headed.

Really Steve. It's not his fault. The Elder didn't warn him about all this. Try and imagine what it would be like to human and then have all this dropped on you.

Jen was quiet. I can't imagine having to be human all the time.

Steve ran up to her and began licking her muzzle. He agreed with Jen.

Well, I said to them, I've had to live a large part of my life in the city as one of them and I can tell you it's no fun for the most part. Trust me, I know. We're just going to have to keep a look out on him and make sure he doesn't get into trouble.

I was thirsty. A stream ran nearby and I went to it. I stuck my muzzle into the water and gagged as water rushed up into nose. Fiery pain coursed through my nose and I tried to sneeze.

I wish I had owned a dog. At least then I'd have seen it doing these things and I could figure it out. A wave of anger came over me. I shouldn't be having these problems, any pup could drink water!

I was having trouble finding where my nose ended but with practice and care, I found the right distance and started licking. I wasn't getting much water this way until I realized I had to lick it like an ice cream cone, using my tongue as a scoop.

The water had a metallic taste but was very cool. I kept drinking until my jaw ached.

Now to solve my food problem. I could go over to the farm nearby and try to sneak something out of the garbage can. Yuck! Still, cold egg from a garbage can is better than chasing down a living animal.

I started for the farm feeling gloomy. As I approached the fence, I spotted a chicken pecking about...


The chicken blood was running down my throat. I was holding the now inert animal in my forepaws and ripping chunks of raw chicken and chewing. It tasted so good.

I lept up in shock, dropping chewed bits of chicken to the ground. I stood there motionless for a minute staring at the shredded animal carcass strewn about the forest ground. I had done that?

I couldn't have, but somehow, I had. I don't know how. I don't even remember doing it, and I liked it. I think I'm going to throw up again.

I ran to the stream and holding my breath, plunged my head into the water. I rubbed it about until all the blood was gone.

The water ran down my face and made red streamers. I placed my stained paws into the water and rubbed at them sending out a cascade of crimson.

Finally, I just crawled into the stream and lay down. More red. I wasn't really thinking anymore. I rested my head and felt the water sliding over my fur. All I had to do was put my muzzle down and I could end it.

I felt a bite of fear shoot through me. Something grabbed me and made me get up. It pulled me to the dry grass and forced my body to shake itself dry. I felt like a puppet.

I wanted to hit something or scream or ... do something. I couldn't do anything! I wanted to cry.

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