Nocturnesque Chapter 9
by Jeff Lewis (aka The Werewolf!) © 1985
Everything was so noisy and there were these large moving things that
shined and blinded me as they passed. I dived through when there was a
gap and nearly was hit. My tail struck one of these fast moving things
and a pain rushed up my spine. I cried out but kept on running.
Ahead was a nice dark area without those big things everywhere. I ran
for it and passed some older humans. They started shouting and I turned
and kept on running.
I kept moving throught the dark areas for a long time until I went past
an old place that seemed familiar. Something should be in there that I
wanted very badly. I wasn't sure what that thing was, but I really
I knew I couldn't get in there and howled a long moan of frustration. I
set off again towards the water. I entered a large area of spread out
trees. Not a forest but like one. There were plently of people smells
A large dog came barrelling over and started challenging me for this
territory. I lept at him and pulled him to the ground. I bit his thigh
and chased him away. Sniffing one of his old marks I lifted my leg and
sprayed a marker over his.
I trotted away and headed deeper into the woods. The trees grew closer
togther and led to a path. I followed it. There were fewer people smells
here and the air was so much cleaner.
I moved out onto the sand and lay down. After a while, I walked over to
a rock at the edge of a cliff and squatting, I relieved my bladder. I
returned to the large rock I was laying next to and sat down. Feeling an
itch, I crouched over and began licking the mound between my legs. I
wash all the urine off and clean my fur.
I'm exhausted and nod off to sleep.
I string the medallion around my neck and shift. I focus myself to the
ground and begin tracking him. The scent is not very old but all the
background city smells are making it hard to track.
I concentrate on the medallion and feel him lying in the sand. Sand? He
has to have gone to the beach. Crossing the main street, I head into the
residential area and head for my little beach.
I didn't think it very likely, but he may have had enough sense of mind
to go there.
I move quickly through the dark streets until I reach the park by the
cliff. My friend, the Alsation, runs out and sniffs me.
He's happy to see me but he's hurt. Some other dog has bitten him. He
tells me that the dog was male and that he'd never seen this dog around
here. He wanted to play but I couldn't right now.
I licked his muzzle and headed out to the beach.
There he was.
I shift and walk to him.
A strange smell woke me from a strange hunt dream. I looked up and saw a
human approach. I leap up and begin to run away.
A warm smell drifted from her to me and I heard something tell me to
stop. I did and she walked over to me. I didn't feel afraid.
She grabbed the fur around my face and I whined as she pulled my face up
to hers. I grew nervous and tried not to look in her face. I put a paw
on her arm and tried to push her away but I couldn't gather up enough
She stared into my eyes. I knew those eyes. I knew her. Oh my God! I was
I tried to pull away from her but she had a tight grip on my fur. My
God, I was a wolf, I had fur. I started thrashing about. I had licked
myself down there. I did it the way dogs did it. I snapped at her and
used my hind legs (no.. my legs) to push myself away. I pressed down on
my tail (my tail, oh no no) and finally escaped.
I tumbled over my now clumsy legs and fell. She was on me in an instant.
I yelped and barked (it's not my fault) and she had me. A glowing hand
moved out of her hand and slid into my head. I howled in terror and
He passed out, thank God. I hated seeing him that way, his eyes were
bulging out in terror. I gathered his shaggy body up and hugged him to
Jen had done a great job in selecting the form. He was the handsomest
male I'd ever seen. He was big and very husky, dark grey and black with
just a touch of brown and a bright white belly. Very male. I ran my
hands over his belly and looked. Yes, very male.
I kissed his forehead and waited for a moment to gather my strength. I
knew when he awoke, all hell would break loose. I focused on him and
felt inside his mind for the trigger. I shifted him back to his normal
form and allowed him to awaken.
I was floating in a cottony substance and suddenly was lying on cold wet
sand. I looked up and saw her. It all came rushing back in on me. I
pulled away from her and stood back.
You monsters, I shouted, what did you do to me? You've turned me into a
freak! My anger boiled and I could feel my face burn.
You're not a freak, she said calmly.
Not a freak! I'm a god-damned werewolf! That's not exactly the
So, I'm a werewolf too. Born and bred. And where I come from, the boy
next door is one too. I know, I dated him.
Oh God! This is fucking insane! There can't be any such things as
werewolves. That's just legends and mythology. People made them up to
scare kids. Ohhh.. Next you'll say there are vampires and ogres and
trolls I don't want to be a devil worshipper and run around eating
children and getting shot at.
Devil worship? I'm presbyterian! And I've never eaten a child in my
life! You watch too many bad horror movies.
She walked over to me and touched my arm. I jumped back. Her touch felt
like fire against my cold skin. Stay back, don't touch me, I warned
It's not over, she said to me.
There's more? I cried out. Isn't this enough? You've ruined my life and
turned me into a monster and you tell me there's more!
I didn't turn you into a monster, you idiot! You've always had the
ability in you, you just didn't know. And don't forget you agreed to do
Agreed to do what! You never said "Hey, say yes and you can become a
werewolf!" did you? No! Just some malarky about a gift I had. Some
She walked up and slapped me hard in the face. Shut up, she yelled. How
dare you critisize my people when you know nothing about them. Listen,
you and I are paired for life, we share a common soul. You'd better get
used to the idea fast because if you don't soon, you're going to be very
seriously screwed up. Right now you are both wolf and man separate and
if we don't get your two halves together, you'll go nuts.
Like I'm not now, I said rubbing the stinging cheek.
She told me that we were going back to the apartment to discuss this
sanely and to get ready. Ready for what I asked her and began to protest
when she told me she was going to help me back into my wolf form. I told
her I wanted nothing to do with that. When she pointed out that neither
of us had clothing on I couldn't think of anything to say.
She started to approach me but I jumped and then stepped back from her.
I wasn't going to let her touch me again. Suddenly a wave of nausea
caught me and I tripped.
The cool, wet sand smashed against me and I felt strung out. I closed my
eyes and when I opened them again I was struck by a hideous din of
crashing noise and insanely bright lights. A booming voice shouted
I lept up and started running.
He changed again. I've got to get him back soon. The changes are going
to kill him if they aren't controlled.
I remember one person who was brought to our clan too late. I remember
watching in horror as his body changed faster and faster and then part
would be human and others would be wolf at the same time. Finally he
spread thinner and thinner until he was gone!
It was the most awful thing I'd ever seen.
I changed and started after him. He was already out of sight, but I had
his scent, and the medallion.
The world was night and day. Everything shone with a brilliant internal
light that blinded me. The colours were so intense and completely wrong.
Trees were yellow with long red streaks along their trunks. The sand was
a deep blue with beautiful glassy sparkles.
And the sounds that filled my head and were so deep. Loud chirping and
sharp grating sounds drilled painfully into my ears. I could hear the
low rumbling of two people talking but could not see them any where. The
crunching of sand under my feet was as if earthquakes and landslides
were all around me.
I whimpered and the screeching sound shocked me. I pulled my ears back
and tried to keep my eyes closed as much as I could.
The oily odour of the water mixed with the heavy pungency of the salt
made me want to gag. I could smell the stench of peoples feet lingering
on the sand. I could smell the heavy muskiness of my fur and the male
smells from between my thighs.
I wanted to lay down in the sand and die. Or at least sleep, but I
couldn't take the risk. The clamour and stench made it too hard to stop
moving. I wanted to scream and couldn't even do that.
After what seemed like eternity of running, dashing through the firey
woods and the luminescent waters, I gave up. I loped to the water and
tried to drink some, I was so thirsty. The water was scalding and
freezing. It hurt.
I moved to a bushy area and collapsed. I was so frightened and confused.
I had to do something to shout my anger. I lifted my head and trying to
scream, gave forth to the longest, most mournful sounding howl the world
has ever heard.
Doing that made me feel better, so I did it again. If I was going to be
miserable, then let the world know about it. I didn't care anymore.
When I was all howled out, I rested my head in my forepaws and closed my
eyes. There was another wave of nausea and this time I did throw up. Not
a pleasant thing for a wolf to do. I moved away from the putrid mass and
dropped to the ground.
I must have passed out for a bit because when I opened my eyes things
seemed to have improved. The world looked more or less correct, except
that everything was in black and white with muted, faint washes of
colour, and still sounding like the tone is set too far to the bass, but
at least I wasn't being blinded or deafened.
Well, this was better. If you can call being trapped in the form of a
male wolf as better. I thought of the woman (or whatever) I'd left and
felt mixed hatred and love. Even now, lying here in the brush on my
side, panting and scratching my ear with my hind leg (good grief, that's
some reflex! I didn't want to do that) I still wouldn't completely
believe in this. I hoped that somehow it would turn out to be some weird
drug trip that old man set me on.
I had to agree with her on one score, I did need her. There was a
growing longing to be with her, and yet at the same time, I couldn't go
to her. I was too afraid of what might happen.
I lay there for some time. Lucky for me this little grotto was in a
cliff face and couldn't be reached from the ground. I slept for some
time, drifting in and out of sleep. I found that I couldn't stay asleep
for too long, and I would grow sleepy if I tried to stay awake.
As the day wore on, I found that I was staying awake longer and by
nightfall, I was wide awake. I looked at myself, determined to see just
what I was going to have to put up with.
My hands had become ridiculously large paws with black claws that joined
into long slender arms. My nose didn't seem all that longer, just wider
and there were these patches of shading I could see that were different
in each eye. That bothered my until I put it out of my mind.
I continued the inventory: the bent hind legs, the bushy tail, the heavy
fur of my chest thinning down to the lighter fur of my belly and further
down the very different equipment that I had explored a little too
closely so recently.
My reflexes were different now as well. I had an itch in my arm and
wanted to scratch it. Before I could raise my paw and scratch, I found
myself nibbling at the area instead. I confess that there were certain
cleaning activities that I didn't want to think about.
I stood up and walked around a bit. I have to say this, a wolfs body
sure feels nice to move around in. You move so easily, no tension. As I
moved, I was aware of a gentle bobbing sensation between my thighs that
pulled on my belly and a similar, yet stronger sensation at the base of
my spine as my tail echoed my pace.
I tried moving my tail and at first couldn't make it do what I wanted.
It just wanted to hang there straight down. Eventually I found that I
could make it wag a little my trying to clench the muscles in my rump
but it wasn't really wagging.
Suddenly, a there was, well, sort of a rippling in my mind. I had
memories of meeting more wolves and being happy and wagging my tail. It
was. I could feel the swaying shift of weight as it swung from side to
side. I turned my head around, now easy to do almost all the way around,
and could see the bushy flag swinging.
I tried stopping it. It did. Then starting back up. It did this too.
Then I realized something. I was proud of the fact I could make my tail
wag! Good Grief! This was sick! I'm not a wolf and don't need to know
about this kind of thing.
Something was making me want to be a wolf and I was not at all happy
As he ran off, I could see that this was not going to be easy. I also
could see that I couldn't force him to be what I wanted. He was very
mixed up and I was concerned for his sanity.
I could shift and trace him easily, but decided not to, since I could
find him anytime. I needed help.
I shifted to my wolf form and headed out to my place. I reached the back
of the house and focused into my suite. Jen and Steve were in the midst
of amourous activity as I phased in but quickly sat up and asked what
I sat on the edge of my bed and told them what happened.
That's not supposed to be possible, Steve told me. It always takes a
couple of days before someone can change.
Well, that's what I'd been led to believe. Maybe he changed faster
because he's decended of the Lycaon, I offered.
It's possible, Steve said. In that case, we can't expect any of this to
work out the way it's supposed to. Where is he now?
I explained that I left him along the shore and that I felt it would be
better to come to grips with this on his own without any interference by
Jen agreed with me, while Steve felt this was an awfully dangerous thing
to do, but considering the strong feelings and terror, we may have to do
it this way.
We changed as a group and shifted to the back yard. We ran around to the
front only to scare the dickens out of Emily who was just coming home.
We hurried along to the shore and stayed in the heavy brush and trees
along the cliff top.
We found him fairly quickly and stayed there watching him. I saw him
throw up and then lay down heavily. He scratched his ear and gave a
perfect impression of having been caught with his hand in the cookie
He slept through the day and we sat about trading stories about what
happened to each of us since I left the town. Steve and Jen began to
nuzzle and lick at each other then made love. I watched for a while and
licked at myself for a bit, but didn't really want to continue. I wanted
They lay panting, locked together. I told them I was going to get some
food and started searching out squirrels and mice. I caught a few and
had some grass and berries and brought them back a few mice. They ate
the mice and lay, waiting until they could separate.
As night began to fall, he started moving. He seemed to become fixated
with his tail. As I watched, a faint shimmer came over him as he went
very slightly out of focus and came back in. I turned to Steve and
Steve began. His wolf form is trying to help him. Don't forget that he
has a complete set of wolf memories in there. He just can't get at them
when he needs them. That is, he shouldn't be able to get at them.
There's something very strange happening here.
Even if he could change, odd enough, he shouldn't be able to phase like
that. Most of us have to learn that trick. He turned to Jen. Jen, tell
me about the form you picked.
Well, said Jen, it was a very powerful male. I sure he was a powerful
pack leader who had kept his position for his entire life and then died
of natural causes. He was never thrown out. It seemed to suit the guy.
You know, independant and strong, yet a good leader.
Steve looked at her for a moment then his furry body kind of sagged. He
put his muzzle on his fore paws and gave a great ragged sigh. What's
wrong, I asked him.
Well, I'm afraid we've made a little mistake, he told me. A strong form
is safe for a new entry because the human is complete and can defend
itself. Your mate is already part Lycaon and so wouldn't have the
defenses a pure human would. I'm afraid the wolf form may come to
dominate him. If that happens, I'm not sure we can get him back.
I looked at him in shock. Good God! What can we do?
Another great shuddering sigh came over Steve and Jen moved closer to
him and licked his ear. Uhm, well, just right now, there's not a whole
lot I can do. I'm not skilled enough for this. Jen?
Sorry, me neither, she said to me.
Well, we've got to get him back so the Elder can take of him, I said to
them. We're going to have some problems though. He doesn't trust us and
I know he doesn't trust the Elder in no uncertain terms.
Steve lifted his head. He said, I suspect that the best thing for now is
to let him get his grips on all this. We can defend him for the next
while, all I can hope is that he gets his act together before his other
half gets it together for him.
I looked down and saw only empty beach. He had gone. We phased down the
cliff and scented his trail following at a discrete distance.
I knew I had to figure something out. I was, for the time, stuck as a
wolf. I didn't know how to get free or get back to normal and someone
was trying to make me want to stay in this form.
The damnable thing was that the longer I stayed in this form, the more
interested I became in how it all worked. I suppose I was lucky that at
least I was still male. I don't think I could handle having to figure
out how to be a wolf and a female at the same time.
At first I had trouble with walking, trying to coordinate four feet
without tripping, but I just pretended I was crawling. The first time I
tried it I found that I was resting on the ground and creeping without
lifting from the ground, but with a little experimentation, I soon got
the hang of it.
I moved up along the coast. I remembered that there were several farms
and a large park area along the shore away from the city. If I could
make it there, I could be safe enough until I got more of this worked
Soon enough, I lapsed into a kind of daydreaming and would have been
humming to myself, if I could do that anymore. The constant trotting
felt pretty good and I was making time. Once or twice I had the feeling
that I was being followed and tried to trap whoever it was, but never
I hate to admit it, but as the night grew deeper, I was starting to
enjoy this. I felt really good; no pains. I felt a little hungry but not
even very much of that.
At one point, I couldn't get past the cliff and had to swim. I had to,
well, dog paddle and didn't really like it too much. When I cleared the
cliff, I swam as fast as I could to the shore. The wetness clung to my
fur and I hated it. I felt like I weighed a ton. Before I could think
about what to do, I found myself twisting my head and body in opposite
directions, sending the water into a fountain spray all around me.
I continued trotting and as the water finally dried off. I felt cool.
The ground sloped up and soon opened into a much wider beach. I
continued overland from here and made my way through several pastures to
a forested area separated by a high wire fence. I lept the fence with
little effort and headed in.
The night grew darker as I moved into the shelter of the forest. I could
hear all sorts of movement skittering in the underbrush. My nose, so
low, drank in the rich liquor of the matted ground. The spongy carpet
broke away as my claws penetrated, releasing sharp bursts of scent. I
I moved almost silently through the woods. I began to grow hungry and
considered this problem. I couldn't catch and eat an animal raw. At the
same time, I couldn't exactly catch it, kill it and then cook it.
I decided to pass on eating for now.
Now that I had reached my haven, I had to stop and consider my
situation. Stuck like this, my life as I knew it had come to an end, and
while this was not really all that bad, it certainly wasn't my idea.
Basically, I had few paths. I could stay this way for the rest of my
life, not really what I want. I could try and figure out how to get back
to the good old me, but how is a good question. Or, I could go back to
her and see what options that would bring.
Well, the first was out, the third had too many unknowns for me at this
point in time, that left the second. The only problem here was that I
didn't really know how I got this way to start with. I mean I know that
bite the Elder gave me probably did it, I've seen enough horror movies
to figure that out, but what controlled the change. Hollywood screwed up
in one sense, there wasn't a full moon and here I was in wolf city.
I began to wonder just how much of the legend I'd seen in those grade B
flicks was true. I mean, I thought all that stuff was made up. Still, as
much as I hate to think this, werewolves are obviously real. I was one.
So, somebody has to know about them. But who? I couldn't go back to her
home town, they're all like her.
Just then, I smelled a musky male scent similar to mine. A light went on
in my head and I knew it was another wolf. Sure enough, a large, shaggy
beast crept through the trees and loped towards me.
Before I could think, I started growling and found my lips pulled back
in a snarl. The other wolf stopped and kept his distance.
Suddenly, a voice surrounded my head. It said, hello, you're new to
these woods aren't you. I was stunned, but this stupid body just kept on
snarling and growling. I started to feel a little angry. I tried to get
a grip on myself and forced myself to stop. I did.
Now the problem was, how to reply? Just talk to me, the other wolfs
voice told me. Huh? How could he hear me? I then realized I wasn't
hearing the voice exactly, it was sort of all around my head and in it.
That's right, we can read each others mind.
Good God! I don't think I can take much more of this.
I'm sorry. My name's Steven. I've been watching you.
You're one of them aren't you!
You mean a werewolf? Yes. I've been one all my life. I'm sorry you're
not enjoying it. It really can be fun if you let it.
Fun! You call running about on all fours and howling at the moon, fun?
My life's been wrecked. All I wanted was a lady to settle down with and
some kids, now what do I get, puppies?
First, we don't howl at the moon, unless we want to, and second, you can
still have your family.
What? Oh no! That's sick! I'm not bedding down, or what ever, with a
female wolf. That is sick, under lined, sick.
Why so? You're a wolf now too. Besides, that's not what I meant. You
could become a human again.
How? My heart lept in my throat. I'd do anything for that.
You can not be rid of the wolf. It is a part of you now and you must
dominate it. If not, it will take you over.
Well that's just great. What do I have to do? Go to Stevies School for
Werewolves and in just ten easy lessons learn all about being large and
I can see you're not ready for my help yet. I can't do it without your
cooperation. When you're ready to stop being sorry for yourself, just
let me know, I'll be around.
Sorry for myself! How dare you...
And then he was gone. Just like that.
Good evening ladies.
Oh, Steve. How did it go?
Not well I'm afraid. You're boyfriend is sure pig headed.
Really Steve. It's not his fault. The Elder didn't warn him about all
this. Try and imagine what it would be like to human and then have all
this dropped on you.
Jen was quiet. I can't imagine having to be human all the time.
Steve ran up to her and began licking her muzzle. He agreed with Jen.
Well, I said to them, I've had to live a large part of my life in the
city as one of them and I can tell you it's no fun for the most part.
Trust me, I know. We're just going to have to keep a look out on him and
make sure he doesn't get into trouble.
I was thirsty. A stream ran nearby and I went to it. I stuck my muzzle
into the water and gagged as water rushed up into nose. Fiery pain
coursed through my nose and I tried to sneeze.
I wish I had owned a dog. At least then I'd have seen it doing these
things and I could figure it out. A wave of anger came over me. I
shouldn't be having these problems, any pup could drink water!
I was having trouble finding where my nose ended but with practice and
care, I found the right distance and started licking. I wasn't getting
much water this way until I realized I had to lick it like an ice cream
cone, using my tongue as a scoop.
The water had a metallic taste but was very cool. I kept drinking until
my jaw ached.
Now to solve my food problem. I could go over to the farm nearby and try
to sneak something out of the garbage can. Yuck! Still, cold egg from a
garbage can is better than chasing down a living animal.
I started for the farm feeling gloomy. As I approached the fence, I
spotted a chicken pecking about...
The chicken blood was running down my throat. I was holding the now
inert animal in my forepaws and ripping chunks of raw chicken and
chewing. It tasted so good.
I lept up in shock, dropping chewed bits of chicken to the ground. I
stood there motionless for a minute staring at the shredded animal
carcass strewn about the forest ground. I had done that?
I couldn't have, but somehow, I had. I don't know how. I don't even
remember doing it, and I liked it. I think I'm going to throw up again.
I ran to the stream and holding my breath, plunged my head into the
water. I rubbed it about until all the blood was gone.
The water ran down my face and made red streamers. I placed my stained
paws into the water and rubbed at them sending out a cascade of
Finally, I just crawled into the stream and lay down. More red. I wasn't
really thinking anymore. I rested my head and felt the water sliding
over my fur. All I had to do was put my muzzle down and I could end it.
I felt a bite of fear shoot through me. Something grabbed me and made me
get up. It pulled me to the dry grass and forced my body to shake itself
dry. I felt like a puppet.
I wanted to hit something or scream or ... do something. I couldn't do
anything! I wanted to cry.
Table of Contents