Nocturnesque Chapter 4
by Jeff Lewis (aka The Werewolf!) © 1985
I lay next to the small inert form and shiver. I clean the blood away,
licking and swallowing each drop. The rich liquor tastes foul and
defiled with shame.
I have killed in anger. I can't cry in this form but my anguish floods
from me. I lay in the tall grass and press my head to the ground. I
I look to the stars and beg their forgiveness.
I get up wearily. I lope back to my home. Changing was even harder than
before. I almost couldn't get back. I walk to the clothesline and pull
a sheet down to wrap around me. I enter the old house. Emily's up. I
didn't realize how late it was. She's shocked to see me and asks if I'm
alright. I'm fine. I say and see grabs my arm.
You're a mess. My God, you've got blood on you! What's happened?
Where's your clothes?
I pull away from her. I can't stand to be near her right now. I'm all
right, I yell at her. and run up to my room. I slam the door behind me
and lock it.
Looking into a mirror, I see that I am a mess. I draw a bath and slip
into it. The hot water helps and the sweat and blood runs off. The
warmth relaxes me and I become drowsy. I finish and wash my hair then
collapse onto the bed.
A moment later I'm asleep.
As the sun began to rise I gave up the search. She was gone. I still
had the medallion and her dress and that's more than I had before, but
she was gone.
I made my way back to the beach and followed the path overlooking the
beach back to my car. I carefully folded the dress and placed it next
to me and drove home. The medallion was still around my neck.
I called in sick and tried to sleep but couldn't.
The medallion was still warm and I held hed dress to my face. I could
smell her on it. She was an intoxicating spirit that I had to have.
I awoke with a start. I was in bed and Emily was sitting in a chair next
How did you get in?
I let myself in. I have a key you know, I am your landlord.
You can't just come in here like that.
My dear, you come in here half naked, with blood all over you looking
like you'd just been dragged half a mile behind a horse. There's no
"like that" involved. We are friends arent't we?
Yes, I'm sorry. I felt very small.
Were you raped?
Oh my God! No! No, no! It's not like that at all.
Well, where did the blood come from? There's no bruises or cuts, I
It was animal blood. There was an ... accident.
Is that how you lost you clothes?
Sort of. I'd really rather not talk about it. I did a bad thing tonight
and I'm very frightened.
She bundled me up in her arms and held me close. I didn't want to move
and she rocked me. I started to cry.
Don't worry, we'll find a way out. I'll help you.
I sniffle a thanks and she comforts me. Slowly I fall back to sleep.
I've been sitting staring out the window for hours. I can't make myself
do anything. I feel like I'm dying. Somehow she's taken a part of me
away with her and I don't think I want to live without it. I have to see
her again and soon.
Emily awakens me again with dinner. The sun is going down. She tells me
not to worry about work, she called and told them I wasn't coming in,
that I was ill.
I told her they'd never believe it; I'm never sick.
You are now, she replied. She was right.
She left me with the dinner and I ate slowly. I wasn't going anywhere
I gathered up her dress, carefully folded it and slipped it into the
large pocket in an overcoat. I put this on and stepped out. There was no
way I could find her but what could I do; I had to try.
I drove to the neighbourhood we were in the previous night and parked. I
got out and closed my eyes trying to remember all the details.
I noted the street, Elmhurst, and began walking aimlessly. The
normally dim streets seemed brighter this evening. I felt the breeze
push me down streets and unseen hands tug me down back alleys until I
came up to an old house turned into a split apartment. She was in there,
I could tell.
I felt cut off, blind and deaf. My heart was like a hard lump in my
chest making it hard to breathe. Everything looked dull and pale. Just
the way he saw things.
I tried to focus on the medallion but couldn't. I didn't have it in
I walked to the door. There were no lights on in the lower half bu the
upper half was dimly lit. I could tell that's where she was.
I knew this was her calling me. I felt foolish and a bit angry for being
yanked around like this but I had to see her again. I climb the stairs.
I hear the stairs creak. Emily's not home, who could it be? I'm afraid
and that itself frightens me. I'm falling apart.
I reach the door and slowly turn the knob. It's unlocked and that
doesn't surprise me. I slowly open it and step in. She is there in bed
with a surprised look on her face.
I pull her dress from my pocket and lay it at the foot of her bed. I
believe this is yours, I say to her.
It's him! It can't be. How did he find me?
He says I brought him here. I didn't. I couldn't. I couldn't even find
Then I realize, he did it. All by himself, he did it. I leap up and wrap
my arms around him and pray I never have to let him go. He does the same
and says that I won't.
We sat holding each other through the night in that dimly lit room. Not
saying anything, just holding, touching. We knew we had problems to
work out and soon, but this night was ours alone.
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